This year I posted on social media for the first time in a long time and man it felt weird. I was full
of uncertainty and anxious thoughts like “what do I want to portray about my life?” It’s certainly
not perfect. Spend 5 minutes with us and you’ll see that. I remembered very quickly one of the
reasons that I’d taken a break for so long. My obsession with the dopamine hits. Checking my
phone incessantly waiting to see how many people liked it. Am I validated enough yet? The
likes have slowed down, I need to post something new to keep myself feeling happy and
accepted. Is that enough yet? No, 3 days later I need to post something else to keep this feeling
up. It can be really full on. And really addictive. And really depressing.
It has gotten easier over the last few months. I worked through that obsession and sure it feels
good but it no longer drives why I post things.
The first thing I posted was our word for the year ahead.
My husband Scott and I are now (as of this year) in the annual habit of praying through a word
for the year. Inspired by #oneword365, which encourages people to “Forget New Year’s
Resolutions. Scrap that long list of goals you won’t remember a few weeks from now anyways!
Choose just one word. One word you can focus on every day, all year long…One word that
sums up who you want to be or how you want to live.”
Imagine the possibilities that await us when we are intentional in drawing near to God to lead
and focus our family together, as a team. Maybe this is normal for you and we’re really late to
the game. If it is, then well done. I’m so encouraged. Scott and I are united in the way that we
raise our sons, but I’m excited to see how this focused intentionality on discipline will transform
the Bonds throughout the rest of this year.
The origin of the word discipline is the Latin word discipulus meaning pupil, which also gave us
the English word disciple. To have a godly discipline is to recognise our position in relation to
Jesus. It is to live out Luke 9:23 “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take
up his cross daily and follow me.” It is to humble ourselves before Him and to know that He is
King over all. To follow Him and His teaching and to accept that we can’t ever do anything to
earn His love. Discipline walks hand in hand with obedience. To be disciplined in the ways of
the Lord is to live a life in obedience to Jesus.
So, this is what I put on social media:
My word for 2020. Scott and I have set some pretty epic goals for the next 5 years but none of
them would be possible without 2 things:
- The unfailing love of our Lord Jesus; and,
- Discipline. What we eat, how we move, how we think, what we say, what we buy, how
we spend our time, how we raise our children, how we see ourselves.
A year of discipline, purpose, focus.
With grateful hearts.
I asked people to help keep us accountable and there has been real power in that. Some
(actually many) have reminded me to be disciplined as I reach for a second (or third) chocolate
brownie. Some have asked me to join them for a walk or bike ride to keep me inspired to
exercise. God has been at work on my Instagram feed, so it’s now less full of celebrities and
more full of encouraging and uplifting messages. Ones that will matter for eternity.
As I prayed over our word for the year, these are some of the things that I felt the Lord was
instructing us to focus on especially. I’m praying that it will invade every part of our lives.
What we eat
For those who don’t know us, we have a tendency to lean towards sweet food.
OK so it’s less of a lean and more of a face plant directly into a tub of cold and comforting ice
cream. Get the picture? Sugar is our best friend. For a moment. Then our worst enemy.
Especially when it comes to our waistlines or the behaviour of our sons. As I write this, half way
through the year, my goal is quickly going backwards so know that we’re not perfect. Growing
up my grandparents had a tapestry in their kitchen that read “Today is the first day of the rest of
your life.” I read it thousands of times as a child but never knew what it meant. Today was my
846th Day 1 of setting a healthy food goal.
How we move
Scott has been an encouragement to me over the past 3 years, going to the
gym 3-4 times a week. I’ve joined him for periods of that, but with our lifestyle of both working
full time and with 2 active boys and after school commitments, it’s just not possible. I’m
exercising sometimes and have the motivation to be healthier, fitter and more energetic for our
children, now we just need the discipline to keep us focused on our goals.
How we think
This one is mostly for me and my negative talk. Doubting myself, focusing on
those who always seem to have it together, the ones who are effortless, juggling it all, while
looking amazing in a face full of makeup and with a mouth full of kale. Good on them, but it’s
just not me. Constantly asking God to remind me that I am unique and worthy because of who
He says I am. End of story. Ladies, we need to stop comparing and start appreciating what God
has given us and others. I constantly tell my children ‘It’s good to be different. Embrace it.” Now
I just need God’s help to show me how to live that authentically.
What we say
Do our words uplift or tear down? Do we say things we don’t actually mean, just
for a laugh? Definitely. Can it be hurtful to others or myself? Absolutely. Do we need to stop and
think before we open our mouths? Of course.
What we buy
As part of our desire to honour God with our finances, we want to be more
disciplined with how we spend our money. Less online shopping, less expensive outings and
I’ve committed to not buying any clothes for myself for a year to see if I actually need all of the
things I say I need.
How we spend our time
We’re committed to spending more time as a family and less time in
front of the TV. I write this ironically knowing that right at this moment I’m in front of my laptop,
the boys are watching a movie and Scott is playing the computer, BUT in my defence it’s
pouring outside and it’s only for an hour or so. Scott and I want to be intentional in more time
together as a couple too, talking through life’s issues. I have mastered the art of talking
incessantly about myself so this year I am trying to relearn the art of listening.
How we raise our children
Being disciplined with how we raise them in the love and knowledge
of Jesus. Teaching them more, being patient with their questions and questions and more
questions, being willing to drop everything when they need us, and by putting our phones down.
How we see ourselves
As precious children of God, not as people who need to prove anything
to the world. Teaching our sons that their identity is found in Christ, their creator.
I know what you’re thinking, ridiculously ambitious, but hey, why not dream big? God is all
powerful and capable of things beyond our wildest dreams. I know this word of discipline has
come to us from Him, so we are trusting that He will keep us focused.
“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life, just as Christ loved us
and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:1.
